Do it Afraid
By Sue Stein
I sent my son Chris on the last Jesus Culture mission trip to Tecate. When he returned from Tecate, he was on fire! And I believe it contributed to changing the trajectory of his path. I thought that was enough for me. I sent Chris. I interceded for him….Good enough, right? That’s how I have seen myself in many situations in my life. Just staying behind the scenes where it is safe. I would often hide behind powerful people and support them. I would remind myself that it is just not my personality to be bold and that I didn’t hear words of knowledge like others did. Hearing the stories Chris shared with me when he returned, motivated me to sign up for the next mission trip with Lifestreams. I am so glad I did!
Going to Romania was a big step for me. I served on a mission trip in the past where I got to teach English to Hungarian and Ukrainian kids. That was not such a risk for me. I had a task to focus on and got to love on kids at the same time. This trip, however, was a big stretch for me. I must admit I felt a bit intimidated to be serving alongside a powerful group of leaders and pastors. There were only 10 of us, so I knew I would not be able to hide. Well, let me tell you, I immediately felt loved and valued as we drove up to LAX together. As we talked about our hopes and expectations the upcoming week, already some of the fear started to dissipate. The people I felt intimidated by at the beginning, were actually the ones who spurred me along and championed alongside me!
The other thing that intimidated me was our treasure hunt. For me, this would be stepping waaaaaaay out of my comfort zone. Let me explain what we had to do. We were given one minute to pray and ask God for clues that we would be looking for in the Roma villages. We were then told to write them down and connect with our team and compile all of our clues onto one list. I felt my left foot vibrating the entire time they were explaining our mission…..So I wrote down left foot. I saw a vision of a little girl in a hot pink sweatshirt, so I added girl in pink sweatshirt. My third clue I seriously doubted, so I added a “question mark” after that one. It was a wooden cart. I wrote down “cart?”
Before we left I ran to the bathroom and prayed. I asked God to amaze me. Well, amaze me He did. When we pulled into the village the one clue that I doubted was from God, was the first thing I saw. It was a wooden cart pulled by a horse. Not only that, we kept seeing more and more carts. We found a man pulling a cart and I got to pray for him. I went out on a limb and asked him if he had a problem in his left foot. He did!! So he let me pray for his foot and he felt better. It was really special to see the expression in his face soften as we prayed over him. I believe we made his day! Not long after that, we found little Sephora, the girl in the hot pink sweatshirt. What an honor it was to pray for her.
I felt awkward and nervous, but I still prayed. I took a risk, and I am glad! For the first time, I seemed like I was not just hiding behind the actions of others, but acting myself. While before I had stood behind leaders and championed them, I pushed myself forward and learned to step out not in spite of my fear, but through it. I know God wants me to do it again and I may still be fearful, But I believe He wants me to just do it afraid.
I am overwhelmed with gratitude to Lauren, our team and Jesus Culture for this incredible experience.